this past week we finally picked up a copy of the amazing found magazine. read it and you will laugh, cry, and just be filled with wonder.
and since we are still unpacking boxes (i know…) after our move north, we’ve been finding our own little oddities and pieces of lost personal history. does it count as “found” if you wrote/made it yourself?
well as it happens, exactly 10 years ago this evening, i was writing a letter to an old flame, a woman i’d met in activist circles who had moved to south africa to further the grassroots solidarity efforts she’d begun here in the states. we had a rich and gripping correspondence, made all the more compelling because we could share most of our thoughts and feelings (the ones we didn’t put on actual paper), across the wires, in a matter of moments. that was so novel then.
it was a letter telling her about a new affair, an affair that would become a sometimes sweet, but overall deep and very difficult six-year entanglement. it’s just the definition of bittersweet to read this old stuff. here’s a tiny sliver:
So anyhow, dear, i’ve no doubt that this new relationship will be a further opportunity to unravel those quandries within me, to break open those scary boxes, to work on those issues, to grapple with those feelings.
“comes a rainstorm, put your rubbers on your feet.
comes a snowstorm, you can get a little heat.
comes love, nothin’ can be done…
don’t try hidin’, cause there isn’t any use
you’ll strart slidin’ when your heart turns on the juice
comes a headache, you can lose it in a day.
comes a toothache, see your dentist right away.
comes love, nothin’ can be done.”
sing it billie.
despite a certain cloud of angst, during many of those times in my early/mid-twenties i was riding high. but lemme just say that without a doubt, i wouldn’t trade any of it for even a moment with my dear A. the doc that rocks the house; the loveliest badass healer-woman you’d ever care to meet; the person that makes me smile even when she comes home tired and cranky from battling with the man. you go babydog.