not that i’ve got any time to now, between work and work on the house, but if i did, playing traveller again would be so fun. after somewhat reluctantly seeing Lord of the Rings, i’m somewhat inspired. in case you never heard of it, traveller was like D&D, only cooler.
My friend has an exercise called “conflict fantasies” in which she has an imaginary conflict with someone. It can be with someone you know, an imaginary person, or a real person you don’t know personally. My mom does this, too, she calls them “fantasy conversations” which broadens things a bit- they don’t have to be all about conflict, they can just be an imaginary conversation with someone.
Sometimes they just come up out of the blue. Usually they are about something in your life that inspires an emotional reaction and it is a way of working the conflict out in your head. Also they are inspired by real conversations you have with people about something or a real conflict and you want to continue the conflict or resolve it in some way- usually by coming up with the perfect argument, the perfect statement.
I do this a lot with my patients- I’ll review my day’s work and come up with all kinds of things I could have, should have, or wish I would have said.
Yesterday and the day before I did something called ATLS (Advanced Trauma Life Support). Two twelve-hour days where we learned about taking care of trauma patients. We hung out with all of these surgeons (who were wearing really nice SUITS which was weird) and practiced putting in chest tubes and central lines on these weird plastic dummies with these blood reservoirs so they bled. Turns out that two years ago these procedures were all practiced on anesthetized animals (pigs, goats, or dogs) who were then euthanized afterwards. THE HORROR!!!!!!
Anyways thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that- it was fun, exhausting, wacky, nerve-inducing and provoked a fair amount of existential anxiety. Spending the majority of my waking hours for two days straight contemplating the ways in which human bodies can be mangled and destroyed was unsettling.
I’ve got my card now, I am certified by the American College of Surgeons in Advanced Trauma Life Support. I’m ready to go to Enterprise, Oregon (population around 1600) and work in a 33 bed hospital staffed by three family practice doctors. Since its the only hospital in the county and there’s tons of agriculture, ranching etc. you end up seeing a fair amount of trauma- usually human vs cow or tractor.
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at the moment there is lots of feminist debate going on about suicide girls, the porn site. lots of blogging, and interesting pieces in both bitch magazine and herbivore (among lots of other more mainstream places). everything i’ve seen and read so far leads me to believe that the women working on the site and the women who post their photos/stories are empowered, not being exploited by the industry, all that. it seems like a more democratic, dare i say, liberated way of engaging in the sex industry.
but on which planet is the idea of suicide not wrapped up in miserable loneliness, a horrific act of destruction? and why exactly are SG’s promoters saying that we are supposed to think that’s sexy?
i guess personally, i would find it more of a turn-on if the site were’nt about making that particular flavor of desperation hot (again, as identified by the name, since i’ve only seen the front page and what folks say about it, and yeah, on the web you DO judge a book by it’s cover cuz that IS the book). but i’m interested in your take on it. if you do indeed find that hot (and i’m not talking about the pictures, i’m talking about the idea of suicide), i’m not here to judge. just want to continue the dialogue. if this is a can ‘o worms, oh well. get out the compost!
lots have blogged about it, but it’s worth sharing with all your meat eating pals and family. very well made and funny, especially for matrix fans. it’s called the meatrix, and while it might not change your mind, it will give you more fuel. be advised, folks in dialupville will have a bit longer wait.
i find myself fantasizing too much about a future in which i’m a real space cowboy and nanotechnology figures into it pretty heavily, only in the service of the good guys. the more serious stuff on this topic is coming from nanodot, perhaps reading some of that will help me get a grip on reality, such as it is. or not.
and while we are on the subject, it’s true, we are pathetic, but at least we know quality… we are nearly holding our breath for the release of the firefly dvd set. and at least we are not getting it from amazon.yuk.
